Thursday, January 7, 2010

On Finding My Voice/ The Inspiration to Write

I've been having the hardest time finding inspiration to write. For more than a year, I've been working on my "starting a blog project", with nothing to show. I think I've been afraid because I couldn't find my voice. You know, the one that seems to reflect just who you are when you are writing, with the right words and the unique identity. Instead, every time I would write, the voice didn't sound like mine. It was a lifeless voice. Monotone, almost like a machine, except with very little to say. Just, dead.

I tried re-designing my blog, changing my title, editing posts, deleting posts, adding pictures, removing pictures, but it didn't help much. I was looking for inspiration...I'm still looking for inspiration, but now I realize something very, very important!

I was unable to write with a voice of my own because I was trying to be someone I'm not. I was pressuring myself to be and appear more intellectual than I am. More knowledgeable than I really am am. But, the truth is, I'm not an intellectual, yet. I have a lot more reading and studying to do before I can consider myself one. I'm not an economist, either. I'm a student.

And this is where the freedom of my expression lies. It lies in being a student and all the wonderful things this means.I don't have to know all the answers, in fact, we can assume I don't know them. I don't have to be embarrassed about not knowing something, who gives a shit as long as I'm passionate about learning it.

I'm a student. There is a humility that comes with that can be extremely liberating, if you allow yourself to get there. My destiny is to learn. To read, listen, watch, witness, study, remember, think about, discuss over some tea, to practice... And then to serve the world as best I can with the knowledge I gain. So come learn with me as I write about a bunch of things, but mostly about studying economics and political economy and development in Africa.

Humility does not mean thinking less of yourself than of other people, nor does it mean having a low opinion of your own gifts. It means freedom from thinking about yourself at all. ~William Temple

1 comment:

  1. Excellent blog Masake. I oftentimes feel the same, which is why I no longer write much. So much fear of judgement and criticism. I am now beginning to realize that every single person on this planet, irregardless of how long you have studied and how much you think you know about anything, will always remain a student. There is always room to learn and grow. Let that those words emerge from your heart and they will always be beautiful. Thanks for sharing.